“I, being born a woman and distressed” is an Italian Sonnet written by Edna St. Vincent Millay and was published in 1923. In the poem, the speaker of the poem encourages women to walk away from relationships where they are possessed by men. The speaker separates lust and rationality. Moreover, the poem encourages women to walk away from toxic relationships.
“I, being born a woman and distressed”
I, being born a woman and distressed By all the needs and notions of my kind, Am urged by your propinquity to find Your person fair, and feel a certain zest To bear your body’s weight upon my breast: So subtly is the fume of life designed, To clarify the pulse and cloud the mind, And leave me once again undone, possessed. Think not for this, however, the poor treason Of my stout blood against my staggering brain, I shall remember you with love, or season My scorn with pity,—let me make it plain: I find this frenzy insufficient reason For conversation when we meet again. -Edna St. Vincent Millay
Meaning and Summary
In the poem “I, being born a woman and distressed” the speaker has tried to tell us that women too have the choice to say no. The speaker describes the emotions that she feels when she is confronted with a potential lover.
Moreover, she does feel affected by the urges and desires like any other woman. Her body desires him physically, however she may not love him genuinely.
She has a feeling of “zest” to feel his body weight on her. But she knows that lust makes people’s brains foggy and they cannot think straight. But the speaker is also aware that once they are done, she is going to be “possessed” by that man.
Therefore, she makes it clear to the man that the feeling of excitement is not enough for her to stay with him. She is not going to be overpowered by her passionate body, but she needs to think clearly with a rational mind and make a choice. Therefore, the speaker makes her own choice and inspires others to do the same as well.
Analysis of the Poem
I, being born a woman and distressed
By all the needs and notions of my kind,
Am urged by your propinquity to find
Your person fair, and feel a certain zest
To bear your body’s weight upon my breast:
In the poem “I, being born a woman and distressed” the speaker of the poem addresses her male lover and calls herself “distressed” because of all her needs and desires that she has inherited. She urges to be physically close to him and feels enthusiastic when she is near him.
She is obliged to feel attracted to the man because he is close to her and they have been intimate together. She urges to feel the body of his lover on top of her. These lines suggest that when the speaker’s lover is near her, she cannot resist thinking about him sexually.
She wants to be close to him, and feel his touch on her body. She does not want to do it purposely, but rather she tends to blame the desires of a woman by saying “needs and notions of my kind”.
So subtly is the fume of life designed,
To clarify the pulse and cloud the mind,
And leave me once again undone, possessed.
In these lines, the speaker of the poem points out that human nature has been designed in a way that will quicken your heartbeat and make your brain foggy if you desire someone. It symbolized that women are made to want what will overtake them.
The emotions of the women have been designed in a way so that they may be used by men. After everything is done, they are left “undone” and possessed by men.
The speaker says that men reassert control over women through sex. It’s as if they start to own them. This is what society has made men believe, but actually, women are not to be controlled by men, they have a choice.
Think not for this, however, the poor treason
Of my stout blood against my staggering brain,
I shall remember you with love, or season
My scorn with pity,—let me make it plain:
I find this frenzy insufficient reason
For conversation when we meet again.
In these lines, the speaker calls lust “treason” against her “staggering brain” which means that her sexual desires are a betrayal of her rational mind and her mind is clear that she does not crave any emotional connection with this person.
She addresses the man and tells him that just because her body is passionate enough for him, it does not mean that she loves him. He should not even think that her disdain can be dampened by her lust.
Moreover, she makes it clear to the man that the excitement that she feels around him is not a reason enough for her to ever speak again with him.
We understand that though the speaker of the poem might be physically attracted to the man, she can make a choice and say no. Her physical wants cannot force her to be with him. She does not hold any genuine feelings for him.
Themes
The themes of the poem “I, being born a woman and distressed” are Body vs Mind, Women’s sexuality and desire, and Gender. In the poem, the speaker has tried to tell us that if we feel a strong attraction towards someone, that does not mean we love them.
We have to learn to discern between lust and reason. The speaker is filled with sexual attraction whenever that person is nearby.
Moreover, she calls lust “treason” against her rational mind. She knows that she does not want any emotional intimacy with this person, and thus the poem suggests that passion is often irrational and makes the brain foggy.
The speaker in the end insists that she does not want any emotional intimacy with this person and that she will not let lust overpower her “scorn” for this person.
She will not let her emotions meddle with her physical desires, and hence asserts her views on love and lust, which are mind and body. Women’s sexuality and desire are important themes in the poem.
The speaker refuses to give in to her desires, however, she acknowledges them without any shame or doubt. She knows what she wants. The poem thus challenges the traditional depiction of women who were devoid to have any sexual feelings and regarded it as a sin.
The poem is against the stereotypical beliefs about female sexuality. The speaker never gives in to her desires and she thinks with her mind and reason. She suggests that women are sexual beings and they are capable of controlling their sexual desires as well.
Literary Devices
The literary devices used in the poem “I, being born a Woman and Distressed” are:
Caesura– Millay uses caesura to play with the rhythm and add additional emphasis on certain ideas or phrases. For example:
I, being born a woman and distressed
Your person fair, and feel a certain zest
Think not for this, however, the poor treason
Enjambment– A few examples of enjambment from the poem are:
I, being born a woman and distressed
By all the needs and notions of my kind,
Think not for this, however, the poor treason
Of my stout blood against my staggering brain,
I shall remember you with love, or season
My scorn with pity,—let me make it plain:
Alliteration– A few examples of alliteration from the poem are:
I, being born a woman and distressed
By all the needs and notions of my kind,
Your person fair, and feel a certain zest
To bear your body’s weight upon my breast:
Think not for this, however, the poor treason
Metaphor– The poet uses a metaphor in the following lines:
So subtly is the fume of life designed,
To clarify the pulse and cloud the mind,
the poor treason
Of my stout blood against my staggering brain,
By using this metaphor
Asyndeton– An asyndeton is a figure of speech in which coordinating conjunctions that join other words or clauses are omitted. For example:
And leave me once again undone, possessed.
Imagery– the poet uses imagery throughout the poem which contributes to the theme of body vs mind.
Your person fair, and feel a certain zest
To bear your body’s weight upon my breast:
To clarify the pulse and cloud the mind,
Conclusion
In the poem “I, being born a woman and distressed” the speaker of the poem discusses her own emotions that she feels as a woman, and in the title itself she discloses it as being “distressful”.
The speaker of the poem has shown real courage while expressing herself and also other women, she makes sure that men know women cannot be possessed just by physical intimacy.
I believe this poem is a very complex one written with a subtle choice of words. The poet has tried to convey that women have a choice too, they can desire a man without wanting any relationship with them. Men and Women both are human and not entities that can be possessed.